Burning Man Before I Go

Burning Man Before I Go

I go to a lot of festivals  and see a lot of live music. Music stirs this life drink and I love people and love to celebrate and I love live music  and I am here to party in this life – music stirs it and dancing exalts it and I am like ten feet tall at Tasmanian speed when I am at a festival celebrating life and art and people.

I think I’ve figured out why that is, what draws me to it – because out of all the millions of ways I have changed over the years since I was 16 – I have always liked places with music and people and art and communing with it all – why though ?

It believe it is because we are all dreaming when we attend these and I am not talking about the falling endlessly one or the cant run fast enough one but I am talking about life.

We live life awake and dreaming – it is ours to do. It is our intents and our desires that wrap up our actions and our thoughts and dream this little dream called Life on Earth. We each have a dream – even if we don’t know it – totally oblivious – it doesn’t matter – we still live each day – that doesn’t change and it is individual – each life is our own.

AND, we are part of a collective dream – in a million different ways. At the most core level, we are all humans – we are all one – and that collective dream, collective consciousness is this dream Earth. And then there is the fabric of it all – ways we break down or identify – traditions, backgrounds, politics, sports.  Each fan base, each participant brings their own dream to all that – and it has it’s own collective consciousness.

AND THAT IS WHY I LOVE MUSIC FESTIVALS ( I prefer the jam band, bluegrass, reggae or bass laden electro ones) – the overwhelming majority of the people that go to these things are filled with excitement, love, joy, laughter and celebration- to break it down so you smell what I am cooking –

PEOPLE GO TO THESE THINGS TO PARTY – TO ENJOY LIFE – that is most people’s dreams at these things- so the atmosphere is (usually) overwhelmingly electric and alive with love and dreamers running around to the beat of the music.

That MUSIC -spinning up that collective dream again.

And oh how beautiful that is to experience – tuned into the rhythm of it all- feeling all that love and all that laughter in that one place.

I am not saying you cannot have a bad experience there, or that there aren’t sketchy people- too damaged to participate so they ruin it for a few – that’s life – however, the overwhelming feeling is of feeling – experiencing, living and DREAMING. People want to remember that one set that smoked or the jokes with their friends or the countless strangers that become friends over a short weekend.

We all contribute this dream and when it's rock solid and golden it makes us all FEEL GOOD.

SO WHY HAVE I NOT BEEN TO BURNING MAN ?

In the beginning  -like when I came to Burning Man awareness was probably 2005 and I just wasn’t interested.

I was working long hours and chasing money and success and having different type of fun than live music and festivals and it wasn’t until 2009 until I started getting the -

“OH you haven’t been to Burning Man – YOU NEED TO GO”

(we have all encountered these people )

“Oh you’re going to LOVE it – YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW”

And I get it – people are excited about the things they love but tone it down, love- because I love the things I am doing too and you don’t see me telling you need to do anything I do.

Then there was the extreme of that Burning Man attendee encounter-  super duper crunchy guru loving yoga chick telling me I know nothing because I haven’t been to Burning Man.

I would froth at the mouth at that one – sideways looking like-

This chick hasn’t been where I have been and has no idea what I know and all this gave me resistance to devoting my resources to attending Burning Man in those 2- 5 years ago times.

That and I wanted a lineup – I go to these things for the music – I LOVE MUSIC and I like what I like and I want my bluegrass and jam bands or reggae or bass music and Burning Man has no lineup.

Which scared me.

Of course I met a ton of people who had gone to Burning Man and were awesome – but it was same collection of people everywhere – it was people -all types – most good, a few bad and a lot in between.

One thing I could tell for sure – is that it was a good party and people were genuinely moved by it all – some devoting a lot of time and resources to the cause.

My brother Daniel was influential in a lot of my positive encounters as he ran with a large East Coast burner set and I slowly came to awareness that eventually I would have to get up there over to that playa and lay my eyeballs on it. SOMETIME.   

I didn’t feel called to go though – too much else to see in this world I guess - until this past April when I dreamt one evening that I was at Burning Man this year –but I shelved the idea as I had a lot of other plans.

Then I started having that dream again in May around my birthday and then I had it one time too many in June in Spain.

First things first – I need a ticket to make this happen and I needed it at face value or less and Burning Man has long been sold out and a quick look at Stubhub tells me that $2000 is not a price I would pay for much and certainly not this so I posted something on facebook to see what was happening in that arena of internet and I had a ticket for face within the hour. (thank you Geiber family )

That was cool but I didn’t really think about it after that and the dreams stopped and I was in Spain dreaming on something else anyways and that dream WAS something else and then I was back in the states on a new dream and there was like a month prior to the festival and I had no fucking plans about this thing and no idea.

I had spoke to a bunch of people who were in camps and what not and go every year  and I  had information and they assured me they could help me - plug me in.  Coming home was a blur so I didn’t think about it for about 10 days until I woke up and realized that though I had a ticket, I was not sure if I could make it this year –I hadn’t planned and I had resistance to the idea of just jumping on someone else’s established camp – not that I dislike that – because I love meeting new people – and have hopped on camps before – but I wanted to see this with my own eyes the first time – my own visceral experience of setting up the camp and dealing with all the elements and I just hadn’t planned.

So I was sort of giving up on the idea with no regrets – knowing I could pass the ticket on to someone that would really appreciate it – there was always next year - And I would think more about why I wanted to go to Burning Man although I was fine if it didn’t happen this year
and
was resolute being fine in not going
and
still I had Burning Man on my mind.

Why did I desire to go ?   – I wanted to put my eyeballs on it and derive a creative spark from it – I wanted to go because I knew it would be ‘fun’, I wanted to go so people could stop looking at me like I just ate a child after I tell them I haven’t been to burning man.

But why do I really want to go ?

The more I asked the question of why I felt called to going this year – what the dreams were telling me and I realized.

I wanted to go there to dream a beautiful dream and to participate in the collective dream. 

You see – just like any other sect of collective dream – any place where there are a lot of people - exists a concoction of everyone’s heart – their desires, their dreams, their intentions, their actions and that is the energetic temperature of the place – the real temperature- not always necessarily what it looks like – it is what everything adds up to be.

And I suspect that Burning Man is a playground where dreamers go to dream and where those who don’t know how to dream learn to.

 I feel as if Burning Man – the gathering – the people – everything it is – is just a sanctuary – made of humans and earth and stars and dreams and it has its own energetic temperature- and my guess?  it is hot –electric FIRE.  People seem to go there to dream – to feel free and I look forward in participating in it all seeing what I paint alone and what we paint as a camp and what we paint as humans who are there and that excites me.

Bunch of dreamers running around from this star to the next – everyone is there for their own reason and that’s the randomness and the beauty – because I have no idea who I will encounter or what will actually transpire
 AND I am excited to find out !

The whole unknown is fascinating to me – you can always aim your arrow to the future and planning is necessary at times  - but the raw truth of it all is nobody has a clue what tomorrow is or the next day or a month from now and the unknown excites me – I lust for that unknown – it’s a big blank canvas – and you got buckets of paint in every fucking color and every fucking form  because those are the tools we all have when we dream with love  and you have a big empty white dusty canvass that you get to paint on – everyday.  I see a forum like Burning Man – a canvas like that and it excites me. and one thing i know for sure is it is its own blank canvas – unique – there is no other white blank canvas  like it for you to paint on in this world  and I see that canvas and I feel that and I salivate because I don’t know and I know.

And to share it with a bunch of people I love!!!

 – in the sunshine and with music and good food and art and laughter and that high vibin’ exaltation of soul and FUCK!

This is why I want to go to – these are my desires and they were clear and I didn’t have a plan and didn’t want to devote all my time and/or money to put something together on my own and that was fine because I had a lot of work to do anyway but I felt a strong desire to go.

But I let it go – it would happen if it happened and now it is 18 days before the start of the fest  and I am getting ready to sell the ticket to a friend and I talk to one of my homeys I never see enough - Simon and he says that he and his Gf Maya who I never see enough have it all sorted with an RV and a camp and it is all their first time and that I just needed to be in San Francisco to meet up and drive on in – bring a tent and we can get supplies on the drive so .....

Can you get to San Francisco ?

And the weekend before the burning man I am in Santa Barbara anyways for a dear old friends wedding so yeah, that is easy.

I’ve planned and packed and blah blah blah blah and in thinking about it since I learned I would be going I knew :

I have no expectations of my first burn

And

know that I know absolutely nothing about Burning Man at this point.

But I believe in my capability to dream and dream well and I also believe in everyone else’s and I am beyond excited to see and participate in this collective celebration of the dream- see what i paint - see what we all paint on that big blank canvas that stares ahead of me.