Wild Nights in Lan Kwai Fong, Hong Kong : The T-shirt Part

Click Here to Read the Beads Part             
                          

                                                   "Eerie Vibes in Mysterious HK"

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I wandered and floated and had drinks but didn’t really engage because I didn’t really feel it until my feet finally found me some acceptable music.

There was a Chinese DJ from SAV Francisco wrecking trap music like I’m at an L.A. Burning Man skid row after party live in some swanky club I don’t remember except I was in Hong Kong and I was again in with the expats.

Its OK though, I wanted to wiggle and carouse a bit and the music was just about the right soundtrack for me to do so.

I was sipping champagne and drinking bourbon and all up in that trap shit.

I had fun.

But was also bored.

The music wasn’t boring.

But the people were.

 At the end of the evening the monotony was somewhat broken when I was dancing with some Canadian finance girl and giving her a really really hard time:

1)   Because the way she spoke.

I’m sorry Canadian brothers and sisters – I really am. I have nothing but love and respect, but ya’ll sound funny and I’m not laughing at you at all, no; it’s more like with-at you.

2)   Because she kept a mindless eye on the corner at her best friend (bff) and her bff’s boyfriend (bf) half the time we danced because she clearly wanted to fuck her bff’s bf (again). I made her aware that I was aware of this.

3)    She thought I was a witch because I knew, but I didn’t need to be a witch to see this one.

I got drunk and wiggled and was all over the place and now more prepared to cope with the fight in the air outside.

It was 3 am and there was mayhem in every direction. 

                                                           "Mayhem in Every Direction"

I wandered and stumbled upon 7 tall black men.

Chat.

They were Hoopers from America now employed by the Chinese- some I recognized or remembered but now forgot- and they were the calm eye in the sotted human hurricane that engulfed this godforsaken neighborhood.

There was restraint and wisdom and dignity in their air.

 We yap more.

I die laughing at the sight of one of their t-shirts, and the dude says he will take it off his back and give it to me for $10.

This was literally the funniest t-shirt in the history of t-shirts and I was getting it for $10?

BET.

An absolutely wasted wet Aussie manifests my Pre-monk encounter reading of the tense energy and stumbles over trying to pick a fight (shocker).

We all give him the Good Ole American Cross Eyed look and he realizes he is in the wrong place and stumbles off in high hopes, searching for someone who cared for him enough to punch him in the face.

I trust he found it that evening,

                                                            somewhere out there in the concrete and glass wild.

More than likely from a hair triggered Chinese hand(s).

Well it Looks like I picked a side in this fight.  I was with the Americans and I’ll be totally honest:

it felt good,

but;

I can’t always say that.

But these young American-Africans had a knowing and a smarts to just stay out of this fight- it wasn’t worth it to them and it was ancient and pointless and unbecoming to me.

I liked being on the side of patience and restraint and it felt good that those things were American on this day in outer space.

I always die a little inside when I see an American being a fucking idiot abroad.

It was nice to be among my own and be proud.

I put the t-shirt over my shoulder and meandered.

A few Name(less) bars/clubs with unattractive people bad music bad drinks and a coat of grime later and I decided to go home.

T-shirt still over my shoulder, I began to walk but walked into a South African girl and a New Zealand girl.

Maybe it’s was the Afrikaaner or maybe it was the Kiwi -I don’t remember and it doesn’t matter- but one of them had pink hair and a palpable disdain for me:

Clearly she wanted to sleep with me.

I entertained myself for a bit and played with the pink headed ones disdain.

I always find it interesting when girls hate the fact that they are attracted to you and it always bring an interesting reflection and says something about both parties involved

BUT

Despite the revelations that can be garnered from this, most chicks that operate that way

are

crazy.

Therefore,

 I had no interest in finding out if she had pink hair elsewhere.

They had some friends from Sydney who were having a party,

did I want to come?

                                         (Threesome?)   <<<<< My savage instinct

                                                                 (do they have whiskey?)    <<<<<<< What I said. 

  

                                   "HK Late Night Waterfront Goon'in"

                                     

We get over there and The Aussies are in good spirits and friendly and about my speed. I have some drinks and show them my hilarious t-shirt and they all cry in laughter.

We carry on and yell and carouse and continue to laugh.

After awhile I gave the room a knowing glance.

The two girls who started this all had placed themselves seductively on a bed and There were two Aussie brahs left: the incredibly vain and hilarious handsome actor, and his equally funny but not equally attractive non actor rather smallish friend, who appeared to suddenly have become very nervous.  

I KNEW why he was suddenly squirrely.

I gave him a warm smile.

I had no intention to fight for this meat and began to excuse myself as it was late and I was tired blah blah blah.

The Smallish Auss began yapping in joy of this revelation and insisted upon on giving me $200 Hong Kong for the cab because we both knew that me leaving this equation just got him laid. I didn’t want the money because I had no desire for the girl, and was content enough to have shared some laughs and some whiskey with these fine savage un-naturals on this early Friday morning in Hong Kong.

I had been with the gweilos. I had reveled in a bit of goon’in with the Queens subjects from the southern hemisphere and I appreciated their friendship and their humor.

 I still took the money.

But left the funniest t-shirt in the world with them.

Now, For the life of me, I don’t remember what was so damn funny about that t-shirt- What it said I guess we will never know-the question of which will probably haunt me for all eternity. 

I cabbed it to the hotel as the sun rose glinting off the many behemoth glass structures.

I wish I had sunglasses and was tired, but was smiling all the same.

Despite the boredom and tension in many of the places I had been,

It had ended up a good night. 

                                "I love you HK, despite yourself"

 CLICK HERE TO READ HOW THE NIGHT STARTED (the beads part) http://conqueringsavage.blogspot.com/2013/03/wild-nights-in-lan-kwai-fong-hong-kong.html