Hung Zhu, The Red Piggy

Inspired by my time in Taiwan, and coupled with my utter disdain for spending time in the plastic mobile coffins, I have decided to get a scooter here in LA. Yes yes yes.

I know that after being auto free for the past 5 years while living in Chicago, that I must eventually get a car, but for the time being, this is my little red horse.

While in Taiwan, I spent about ten days on the islands southernmost point, a beautiful surfers paradise called Kenting. After checking into my hotel,  I made a life long friend, Kil’in who told me that I would not be able to rent a scooter without an international license. I had witnessed scooters run amok in Taipei and spent a lot of time on the back of one (yes, some poor soul, had me on the bitch seat of their scooter) and badly wanted one. This international license thing wouldn’t stop me. (nor would the fact that I didn’t even have my actual license with me, just my Illinois state ID card).  On my second day there, I took a cab to the  National Museum of Marine Biology and Acquarium, which as a side note, was better and more comprehensive than even Shedd’s Aquarium in Chicago. During the course of the 30 min trip there, I made friends with the cab driver (obviously) and told him if he found me a scooter I would give him $400 NT (new Taiwanese dollars, about $13 US) a day for the next 10 days if he found me a scooter. He rented me his, and I gave him my ID card as a hold. Cruising the lonely beach, mountain and country roads on this little beast was invigorating and I immediately fell in love.

Fast Forward to LA. I am perusing Craigslist looking for the perfect scooter. Something with style substance and power. Everything I am finding looks rather dull and I become discouraged. A friend is sitting next to me in the room during this search, and suggests I type in “hipster bike” in the search engine. The only thing that came up is the beautiful red bike you see before you here. A 1967 Honda CT90. I LOVE LOVE. I love the Summer of Love. I love the 60’s. And I immediately knew I had to have this bike. So I called the ad and scheduled an appointment. I drove down past Long Beach almost into Orange County on a lazy Saturday and knew right away the bike was mint, as the house we pulled up in had about 4 stereo typical SoCal white dudes (shorts, jacked up white socks, vans, flat brimmed hats) sitting outside a garage and restoring an array of old caddies, bikes and even a Packard. Took it for a spin. Beautifully epic. Now all I need is a name.

I whats apped (the best free international texting app) my friend Kil’in a picture of the bike, and told him that I wanted a name in mandarin because the purchase was inspired by my travels there. He sent me a few options, but there was only one that made sense: Hung Zhu. You want a ride on my hung zoo? All jokes aside he told me it translated into “red piggy” and a legend was born. So internet world, I introduce you to Hung Zhu.

Now I just have to figure out which cool LA scooter gang I am going to join.

FaceCrack

About a month ago, I decided to turn off Facebook. Just to see what life was like with out it. As I write this now, I have not died nor been exposed to any serious ailment or dealt with some unspeakable travesty. If you have discussed favorite face-cracking places with me- much like an actual crack head- you know I loved to face-crack whilst in the bathroom (usually sitting on the throne, expelling human waste). Fitting especially, since FB addiction is sort of just: human waste. If you are reading this blog, chances are you suffer from a mild to rampant FB addiction as well, because this is how you got here. During this past month of cyber sobriety, as much as I at first didn’t know what to do while I sat in the bathroom, as much as I missed joking with friends I never see enough, and seeing what people are up to etc etc etc etc…  I realized I didn’t really miss FaceCrook at all.

The University of Arizona was one of the first round of schools to get FB, and with my school email address, I could have joined right away, but I abstained for about a year. Then I remember seeing a friend, Alana Hadid in the ILC (integrated Learning Center) where she posed the argument about its “usefulness in staying in touch with people all over the world post-college”.  (If you are reading this Alana, Yes, I do blame you for my FB addiction).  This staying in touch via FB is now something I have come to term “hannnnnnnging out on the internet”. And I have done that, laughing at jokes, keeping up, stalking photos, sharing good art, music and film etc., and enjoyed that.

I've realized I despise the notion that I am being monetized and data-sized.  It just doesn’t sit well with me. I’ve said this before about FaceCrack, I know, ….but I see this social netfucking site as having more negative than positive; so just bugger, FaceCrack.  I would have to say that I have had this issue with technology for as long as I can remember, (in no way am I arguing that technology is evil) but the internet, as useful as it is, is just kind of lame sometimes.

I found an old college paper that I wrote 12 years ago when moving recently, written years before FB was invented in which I stated that technology strips us of the question “why?” and replaces it with the question “how to?” As in, it strips us of abstract thought and doesn’t allow for full creativity to flow.  It takes away the sense of adventure and curiosity in this sense, because lets be honest….the how to isn’t the juicy part….the why is. This applies to FB too. When you can watch what everyone is doing, and in a sense, you already know the outcome, it depresses the urge to forge real human interaction. Furthermore, FB is just another cyber suburb, with its white washed walls -and though much like the real, world faceTOOK reflects much diversity, also like the real world:  your FB interaction isn’t with too many people outside your social circle.  DO you accept a “FB friendship” from someone you don’t know? Of course not! You, like me and most everyone but the naïve, view that as creepy. But you WOULD talk to a stranger sitting next to you at a bar or your yoga class, and there in lies the cyber friendship flaw. Its limiting your experience, and I don’t want to be friends with your internet image, if you’re my friend, its because I want to be friends with you.

An inherent flaw: artificial intelligence. The lack of emotion is what makes it artificial, because in my opinion emotion is one of the highest forms of intelligence we are capable of. No matter how you slice it, the computer screen yields a blank listless state and lacks any energy, yet holds an abyss of opportunity to truly live a life online.  It has never fulfilled me. There is no human social enrichment better than in the person. I like the visceral. Seeing something and believing it is the easiest form of trickery, and an image, or a video clip online is open to a billion interpretations. I love people. I love being with people I have known since I was born, to meeting new people everyday.  And that is why during my time with a deactivated FB account I was astounded when friends of mine whom I appreciate actually texted me and thought that I blocked them. For no reason. Seriously. If I didn’t like you I don’t really care what my online image can do to your online image. I’d probably just let you know I think you operate at a low frequency. In person.  Hateful words and their weak intentions behind them can be so simply transcribed online. I don’t hate anybody- but I do get angry with people- and if I am angry, be sure I will not use the internet to let you know it.

Lastly, you will live a longer life on the Internet than you will on this planet. No matter how you think you may know someone because of what you interpret their FB to be, you don’t really know them at all, unless you actually talk to them, and always best in person. An internet image might last forever, but real human interaction, visceral friendship is timeless.

So to satiate my need to put forth ideas, jokes, and inspired art, film and music selections on the internet, I decided to start a blog, and No Mark Zuckerberg, even if my intellectual property is worth 1 sheet of triple ply toilet paper (that would be the equivalent of 3.1 shares of FB stock) you will not own it. (Unless you are willing to give me $10 million….then we can talk) If you want to keep up with my adventures, read whatever random thing I am thinking about it, funny (perhaps true, perhaps not) random occurrences… well you know where to find me. If you are reading this, you are already here. So if I don’t like the picture of your new ugly baby (kidding, or am I?), don’t respond to something on my wall or a message, its only because you are using the wrong channel of communication to reach me. My email is rudyranda@gmail.com and you can always email me for my phone number and you can allows follow me on instagram : rudyranda

or you can visit my blog

conquering savage.blogspot.com

Lastly, despite all this, I am not trying to start an anti-FB revolution here, and  I am not going to actually turn off my account right away,  mainly so that I can let people know where all the cool kids are hannnnggging out on the internet (NO! not FB! - its conqueringsavage.blogspot.com ) ! I am not judging those who use it, just relating my human experience. Never the less you probably wont find me hanggggggging out on the internet. You’d have a better chance catching me at the beach with sand in me toes, at the park with my back to some great old tree or find me in some musty dank bar listening to good music.