2015 DREAMS

This is the second to last post on this blog - ever - and I am retiring from just putting my thoughts on facebook too.

I have one more post  - about two angels who I met in my 20s and are now done and then I am shifting over to writing for radiant9 ( radiant9.com) a creative agency I cofounded with my brothers Leo Medovyy and Michael Few.

I only had one more post  - which is what I learned in the separate deaths at separate times of two dear brothers - angels  - that I met in my post college corporate years. The reflection they provided me in their deaths taught me more than i can imagine and I am forever grateful.

When I first I found this "2015 Dreams" I wrote on Jan 6 of this year. I read  it for the first time since then - I was too chicken to post it - I didnt want to ask for too much or seem arrogant and I had some reservations about if I could actually accomplish these things and though I had faith - there was  no reason to put myself up for public auction if I didnt have to.

I read what I wrote and so far everything has happened and I keep going and I wonder what the hell I was so afraid of ?  Why didnt I post it ?

So I am posting it now - I didnt change a word of what I wrote on the 6th day of this year - the story I wish to tell in 2015

2015 DREAMS 

We are story tellers – every one of us – and I do not mean we sit around a camp fire and tell stories.

I mean that we choose in every moment of every day what type of story we tell as a human with free will to act even in the face of adversity or fear and anxiety.

Our past is the story we have told up to this very point -

our present is that blissful place where we are empowered to choose every single time

and the future is the story we intend to tell – the one with infinite possibility and who knows what happens with intentions and all that.

I’ve told a real interesting story up until now – blessed with a good childhood and family and I’ve done a zillion things and worn a million hats and a lot of them were beyond amazing and some of them hurt more than I could imagine things could hurt.

All stories I told – whether I was actively making them happen or chose to be a part of them or got swept up in the them – they are the collective experiences I have told as an adult up to this point.

And here is 2015 and this is what is happening for me :

This past weekend I went to the magical paradise of Hicksville, a psychedelic shrine to trailer living in the mystical arena of Joshua Tree to celebrate and old friend’s birthday 

– one and only wardo aka the beard 

and the place and the weekend and the people were on fire and it was a reminder that it really doesn’t matter how long since you’ve seen old friends that they are still your friends – so aye yo big cheers to all the people everywhere I do not see often enough !

But this isn’t about that.

Or really that weekend.

I brought these cards which I had on loan from my brother, he had got them from the Damanhur – a spiritual sect of mystics over in Italy.  

I guess you could call them Tarot cards but they aren’t Tarot cards. 

They are these cards with emotions or statements written on the top and bottom of them with a beautiful painting on the card and then in gold lamme over the middle of the painting – a geometric figure drawn on them- such that you kind of have to hold it up to see it and they say that it is a figure channeled from outer space and that your brain doesn’t recognize it but your soul does.—that’s what these Damanhur cats say.

And for the last year or so, I have picked four of these cards almost everyday and then would drum and that soon became meditating  and praying ( helped a ton through the concussion ) and I used them as sort of pointers –

-whatever the four cards I pulled I would look at them and then see or search where they correlated into my life at the present moment.  

there were no bad cards, though I admit in the beginning there was a chance I would spook myself out if I got deception or fear or death – then I would snap back to reality and understand that there are no bad cards.

They are just cards and they have meaning, and they don’t foretell – it is

“what do I see in myself of that card?”

“where is that in my life?”

There is no perfect.

There is no 100% one way and there isn’t only happy or only joy or only good.

We are humans and we encompass it all – the full spectrum of love to hate –we are quite literally, EVERYTHING.

And if you cannot see the beggar in you – you cant see the anxiety – or fear – or death or the negative things in your life, the shadow attributes– then you are looking with blind eyes – the ego – that trickster – not letting you see it.

These cards are just archetypes – whether it’s poor or love or emotion or laughter– or death – these cards just are reminders of all the things we embody.

So its sunny out in Joshua Tree and we are just getting started in this psychedelic art and music utopia  and I had these cards with me as I sometimes do when I travel and so I brought them out and did the uncle rudes thing- fishing for someone who wants to pull 4?

And before you know it every person there ( about 10 ) had taken their four and asked me what they meant.

They all asked me what they meant.

They asked ME what they meant.

I mean I get it- I brought the cards and they have no idea or have ever seen them and so logically they would ask me what they meant and still it caught me off guard because I really didn’t know.

How could I? 

I mean I knew some of the stories and patterns of each friend so I could surmise where some perhaps lined up and I knew that I did not know a fraction as well as they did.  

So I say:

I don’t really know what they mean to you because they mean what they mean to you and your life and nobody knows that life better than you.  

We went on and had a rowdy epic day all over this trailer palace in this wondrous perimeter of Joshua Tree and I sort of forgot about the cards and all that until I was driving back on Sunday and I thought about it again :

There is no pre-claimed fortune or some wretched doom that awaits – it is nothing like that.

Cards do not tell the story.

We do.

So what story do I want to tell in 2015?

It is complicated and I’ve simplified it :

Love and success.

If I eat love my theory is I will shit success – so that’s whats happening.

Well.

Something like that.

Success is not fortune nor is it fame – to me – it is freedom.

Doing the things I want to.

Creating the things I desire to create.

Being the change I want to be.

Freedom,

                     baby.

We have a head start on that in the United States – a fact I often overlook – blinded by the myriad of deficiencies I observe in present moment America.

Even with the problems we face today,  we are the most free country in the world according to the Constitution – we have so much – we can travel the world freely without visa issues – we can do business in other countries – we have a head start.

Freedom – the ability to live a sustainable life in the manner you choose – your endeavors enriching and fulfilling.

I am on to you.

2015 – I SEEEEEEE YOU.

I see you in HD 2000p and I have things that I want to make happen.

My theory is if I do the things that support a story of love and success –ALL of THEM – little habits to big – that I can in essence live my dream.

That if I dream big enough and continue to do the things that support those dreams, that they will come.

There is no panic – no rush – no life hack that immediately puts you in those dreams that exist in the future.

You have to understand :

You are already there.

Whose to tell what happens with the future – I know we can only aim – so this is the way I aim, this is my method – I tell the story of love and success.

What does a dream 2015 look like for me ?

It means that every day I do all the things that support how to get there – support the how.

We are literally the things we do.

Our intentions and our thoughts are a big part of who we are and yet it is the doing that gets us there and moves this physical.

We are the things we do.

I am a pretty good story teller –  I have lived

And

 I will be honest – I have never put it all together-

I’ve had success and joy and celebration and inspiration and love and creativity and adventure and money and love and yet :

I never had them all at the same time.

There were always a lot of good things going and I had plenty of areas that were holding me down:

–      disillusion-  disgust -  guilt -  anger -  attachment –dependence-  depression -  anxiety - entitlement –

 ( to name  a few )

I see that I always chose to engage in those stories.

To wallow in them.

It was I who was those things

or

I chose to engage in those things that caused me these things that held me back.

So I have decided to tell a different story in 2015 and see what happens :

A story where I keep improving my health – I swear to god we are going to be the oldest team to win a game at the MUHS alumni basketball tournament.

One where I nurture the opportunities in my life, personal and business and artistic – do the things I want to do and am good at – things in which I provide value to my self worth and to humanity and earth and creativity.

Literally exalt the human soul.

Where I embrace the notion that I am love and I spread that every where I go – lighting up the world – I know it is true – live it and live it and love it.

I nurture my self empowerment mind body and soul and I do it doing things that I enjoy IE keep practicing qi gong and my foreign languages and music instruments and meditation.

Smarpen the mentals.

Learn MORE and as much as I desire.

Support this great country – United States of America – say what you will about present day issues we have  - this country – the constitution – we live in the freest country in the world and we are lucky and I want to help America be that bastion of freedom for everyone – and I cant help racism – I cant help Ferguson or the slain NYPD or Iraq or poverty or drug addiction – I can’t help that. My brother Mike Few coined a great term for this :

UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE

I accept that which I cannot control.

What I can do is live free and support people and things that are good for, for us – for the earth – for everything -

I can dream and try and be happy.

I have 358 days left.  

SO what does that look like for me?

I could go by day to day to month to month and for brevity’s sake I am putting the big ones out there.

I intend to go to Alto Paraiso Brazil with my brothers and sisters and celebrate life and earth and exalt humanity and connect with a large beautiful international crowd and experience deep joy and further clarity in myself and my desires and my dreams and deeper understanding and connection with earth and self.  

I intend to continue to grow the tech consulting company I am part of, radiant9 and work less at the things I don’t want to do and more that I do creating technology that supports human connection.

To continue my longstanding study of business acumen and commerce and trade.

I intend to travel the world visiting many sacred and remote sights and documenting tradition and culture and spirituality for a feature length film.

I intend to become entirely debt free by the end of the year.

I intend begin to support the indigenous people, not because I think they are better but because I have seen where they need it and I desire for all to hear their message.

I intend on finishing my book Destination Now and releasing it.

I intend on getting better and better at playing music.

I intend on throwing the best New Years Party ( weekend ) ever to celebrate whatever 2015 has brought and whatever 2016 harbors.

These things may seem like a lot, they may seem like too much and I say

 – shoot high – if you are going to do anything – aim high.

You see, we all tell the story we tell – it is us.

It isn’t the relationship we are in or the job we do or the system or the color of our skin or our family.

We have complete control in every single moment to tell the story the way we want to tell it.

Jobs that suck the soul out of you ? Leave it.

Codependence  ? See ya later.

Things that make us angry ? Why does it make us angry ? Know that and Channel it to positive.

Fat? Eat healthy and exercise.

Bored ? – GO DO SOMETHING.

Someone or something that is using you – you got a vampire in the kitchen?

LEAVE IT.

Do the things you want to do – do the things that support the story of love and success – enjoy life – eat well – celebrate – love –  connect to earth – connect to people – fuck – laugh and work at the things that feel good and dream.

The dream isn’t as far as you think – it isn’t far at all in fact – it is right in you, it is your choice in every moment if you believe that it is YOU who tells what is happening for you.

Well this is my theory at least – and I am game to try and see what happens.

So this is what is happening for me – this is my purpose and it supports my dream of love and harmony for all.