Fear and the Ego's Salty Death

“If you know the enemy and know yourself you need not fear the results of a hundred battles” – Sun Tzu

This summer had me dealing with a lot of questions about fear. And fear is new to me- I have never been scared of much- there is ice that courses through these vains.

It's funny - upon reflection - because I did it all to myself. We feed ourselves this anxiety and worry - worrying about the future and things beyond our control - it is us every single time.

I feel the root of it is self love. When someone truly loves themselves as they stand alone - there is no worry. Just the soul and the connection to it all - the great mystery - the source - God.

It's hard to love oneself entirely. It means nurturing every part of your being. Meditating and praying. Eating food that nurtures you. Working the things you love. Feeding your being with enrichment. But anxiety is everywhere - it's all over the tv and the news and work and in the streets- all speculation and hearsay and projection. 

We are taught to always be in a problem solving mode of thinking. We are taught to encounter a situation and think about solutions and angles - constant analysis -and in that a facade of control that satiates the ego : we think we know what's happening. 

 We do all that instead of simply :

E M P A T H I Z I N G

Feeling the present moment - what is actually happening.

We are addicted to drama and then problem solving it. 

In my 20's I used to put myself in situations just to see if I could problem solve out of them - a vicious loop of unknowns i thought I came to know. 

We are addicted to watching the news and becoming emotionally stimulated and sometimes attached. It's natural to western society to begin thinking about it.  

The problem solving mind set has been useful  - integral to civilization for thousands of years and we aren't there anymore and to live in that mind set isn't to truly love yourself.

 It is not to thrive. 

It is outside the present moment - outside what is actually in front of you - outside of what is mechanically happening in your reality.

Outside of your control.
To constantly feed your being with these "problem solving" thoughts of a future for which you have no control over is to starve the heart from love.
It is to starve from creativity - that same sweet elixir that exalts the soul - thus, the soul starves too. 

It is plant medicine that helped me to this perspective and helped me understand connection to Self/God.

To see prayers and know that energy goes somewhere - feel it's power. To see the connection and begin a journey to better understand it -  What happiness is. 

The lessons go on and on And this summer I learned that self love - total self love - is the answer to deepening the connection - to understand more. 

As a western society we are me in my 20's : creating problems so that we may feel useful in solving them. 

Create problems to distract ourselves. 

Create problems to entertain ourselves. 

Fear is a terrible motivator. 

It motivates - yes , obviously - but from a terrible place - the place of not having enough - of needing more. 

Fear puts the mind in problem solving mode - the angles - how to figure a way out. Hard work - yes I know. But there is only so much physical work that can be done.

The mind doesn't stop working when the body does when it operates from fear. 

Fear doesn't leave.
It is in fact torture.
The mind is endless and creates stories from analysis - feeble prediction of something it can't control. 

That is the fear. 

The mind is endless - yes - and it is the soul that is infinite. 

The Brain fades and goes off line eventually and the spirit is eternal. 

It is the ego that causes this fear – the ego that creates it’s own fear when it is dying – we fear we are losing ourselves, and in actuality we are finding our way.

On the other side of fear is freedom and letting go of the ego to the place of self love and connection has been my direct route.

“If you know the enemy and know yourself you need not fear the results of a hundred battles” – Sun Tzu